13 Ways of Looking At A Fat Girl - Mona Awad

13 Ways of Looking At A Fat Girl is a compelling and raw piece of fiction that left me completely uncomfortable and self-conscious. It is exhausting, but that is what makes it brilliant. Mona Awad carefully crafts a work of fiction that consists of a collection of thirteen captured moments, all surrounding the life of a girl named Lizzie who struggles with her own body image as a teenager through to adulthood. The reader follows Lizzie as she discovers and encounters a variety of friendships, sexual partners, shopping experiences, and gym memberships. 13 Ways of Looking At A Fat Girl effectively explores the psychology of someone who struggles with body image, as well as the difference between perspective (how we see ourselves) and body image (how we imagine we are seen by others). Awad examines the raw insecurities and vulnerability of a girl who struggles to love herself. In the beginning of the novel, the main character Lizzie appears to be a hyperbolized narrator whose aim is to distance the readers from the world of the book. This distance allows readers to remember that this is a work of fiction, and should analyze Lizzie as a character and not as a real person. But as the book progresses, Lizzie quickly becomes real, especially for those who have struggled with body image. Lizzie walks the fine line between a hyperbolic stereotype and a frighteningly accurate representation. As the ‘fat girl’ she is neither the victim nor the hero, because she is a flawed individual. There is a harshness to her character, a cruel acidity that burns inside of her and oozes out throughout the 13 chapters. Awad is also careful not to offer one narrative, or one reason as to why Lizzie is a ‘fat girl’. She allows for multiple characters perspectives, as well as multiple and aging versions of Lizzie to share their stories. Awad does not blame Lizzie’s body image issues on one specific outlet or source: Lizzie’s parents are divorced; Lizzie’s mom is overweight; Lizzie’s lifestyle and habits while living with her mother are not the healthiest; Lizzie’s father believes that being fat is a choice, that it is a conscious act of rebellion, and that excess skin should be shed as easily as an extra layer of clothes. This novel presents the gritty struggle with negative body image without casting blame. What does this book do for the idea of 'body-positivity'?

This book is not ‘body-positive’ success story; instead, it explores body-negativity in depth. Awad allows her readers to see how a negative self body-image can create a toxic subconscious. This unconscious state of mind severely affects not only the way in which you see yourself, but also the way you see other people.

Throughout the entire novel, Lizzie’s own negative body image is largely influenced by how she believes others see her. Her toxic subconscious projects her own negative feelings onto others, causing her to cast harsh judgements on others' physical appearances. Without self-reflection, Lizzie's toxic subconscious continually perpetuates self-loathing, making it impossible to be satisfied with her own reflection and forever striving for unattainable ‘perfection’. This book offers us a complex narrative which invites us to question how and why we see ourselves in a particular way, as well as how and why we think we see other people seeing us. This novel wants us to question our own problematic subconscious', to challenge our toxic assumptions and poisonous self-affirmations. Awad’s novel attempts to subvert Lizzie’s struggle with body-negativity in hopes to allow the readers to engage in 'body-positivity'. This novel requires a large amount of commitment from the reader to properly unpack what the narrative is exploring in a safe and constructive way. The exhaustion that comes from reading this novel is a similar exhaustion felt when trying to focus and obsess over your own body image, which display’s Awad’s creative genius. Reading this book requires an extreme amount of energy and a dedication to conscious self-love. This novel is not pretty or polished, and it does not have a ‘happy ending’, but there is truth in Awad’s honesty.

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